Da bible

I went to church today. I'm not sure why people spend an hour of their week listening to a skinny white guy tell you why you're a sinner. Or why you have to 'Repent' not sure what the eff is going on. I have a couple of interpretations though.
I heard this bro named Jonah was being a giant peen and tried to commit suicide in order to please God. Idk why someone would voulenteeringly jump into a mega stank ass whales mouth. Anytit he got puked out a couple days later and probs smelt like straight up vadge.
Some peps think this is about temptation or something but i interpreterate this as the more you piss people off the more shitty you'll be later on.

Honestly church is boring as shit. Plus it's so forced. I don't like being told some bro in the sky is watching me play with my cats.
Hey god it's me, PussyPuss. Don't feed me to a stanky vadge fish because I don't give an eff what you want me to do.
<3 you.