I have a Job!

A lot of you may be at home during this summer, sleeping, getting "fucked up" , and taking hits of coke off your bff's iPhone. And probably many of yall think to yourselves "Wowzer bro, I'm like totally out of dollar bills and can no long vist your cousin at ricks. I need a job!"
And many of yall try for this job. And fail
BUT NOT ME!!
I never give up yall, except in contact sports, or anything mascline.

Yet while on the job I realized the stress level, and how tired I easily became. Honestly, I'm a just too lazy and stupid to have a job.

Unless that job is one of the following:
Cat Scientist, this job will incorporate my two favorite things, cats and white lab coats.
T-shirt gun launcher: I have an uncanny obsession with t-shirt gun's. I see them and go ape shit. Honestly, when I see a person with a t-shirt gun ready to launch their sexy goods into a crowd of filthy consumers I become the kind of person I h8 and run for to that projectile. I'd also be the most loved man at all sporting events.
T-bell worker: easy to get this job, and all the chilupa's and cunt wrap supremes I want. Sadly I don't think T-bell promotes from within.

I'm obviously going nowhere if I choose these jobs, but I just can't help myself, I have only so many skills.
Maybe I can be just get my G.E.D. and join the marines!